I am A Woman at the Well...

As I begin writing this blog, my passion is to share the heart of an ordinary woman who has experienced extraordinary things through a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Through posting on Facebook, I have been able to share many stories of miracles that have happened in my life and attempt to answer the common question of "Why is your faith so strong?"  As I pondered this question, I began to think about the Samaritan woman at the well, described in the Book of John, Chapter 4.  She is an intriguing woman. She had a fascinating brief conversation with Jesus at a well in Samaria, where He was not even supposed to be traveling.  Historically, the Samaritans were considered "half-breeds" by the Jews, and not only was she Samaritan, but she was a woman.  In that time, Jewish men did not speak to women and they were generally considered to be less important than their male counterparts.  So...she was a half-breed Samaritan, woman, who admitted to Jesus (a rabbi) that she had five husbands and the man she wasn't even married to the man she lived with.  She was divorced, half-breed woman, speaking to the man that was God incarnate.  Tell me that is not interesting...

Like the Samaritan woman at the well (in John 4), I am nothing that would be considered extraordinary to the world.  In fact, for most of my life, I was considered a complete reject and misfit, and I was considered unclean and unholy by those in the church who had a religious agenda to fulfill.  I did not encounter the love of God through the church, I encountered rejection, disgust and  downright horror.  I attended church sparingly as a child, as my family did not attend.  I would occasionally be invited to church by a friend, but I never really fit into the church community.  I started drinking when I was 13 years old.  I began having sexual intercourse with various people at the age of 16.  By the time I graduated college, I was an absolute mess, scarred by years of alcohol and drug abuse, and broken relationships.  I certainly was not desired company.

One day, a young woman from the church on my college campus came to me with a Bible and said "Let's talk about the Ten Commandments.  Which one of these commandments do you think you struggle with the most?"  I answered, "Which one don't I struggle with on a regular basis."  She told me that Jesus came and died to save me, but it really didn't make much sense to me.  Why would a God who is great and powerful care anything about me?  Maybe if I was a good person and didn't drink, do drugs and sleep around, God might want to have this "relationship" with me.  But I was not that person.  I went out every night, drinking and carousing and not remembering much of it.  What I did remember only caused me more pain.  In response to the pain, I went out more, drank more and found more unhealthy relationships.  It was a vicious cycle.

I was hurting anyone and everyone who might have actually loved me.  I ended up in a very dark place all by myself.  Somehow I managed to get married and have two children, but that certainly did not make me a good wife or mother.  I was still struggling with alcoholism, drug abuse, and pain that manifested in anger.

While in the darkest place of my life, I began to have a desire to read the Bible.  I read a few chapters, but it really didn't make any sense to me.  It was then that my life changed dramatically.  I had a very powerful encounter with a very real God.  This was my Samaritan woman at the well experience with Jesus.  I had finally reached a breaking point in my life where I realized the drinking, drugs and hate were not going to heal my heart.  I felt as though I had no place to turn and seriously pondered giving up on life.  A friend called me while I was in this state and told me her pastor had given her a couple of Bible verses for me to read, one of which was Psalm 51.  I sat down at the computer and pulled up the verses online.  As I began to read Psalm 51 out loud, I began to weep and sob uncontrollably.

 I laid down on the tile floor of my parents' house and cried as hard as humanly possible.  In the midst of the crying, all I could say was "I am sorry God, I am sorry I have messed up my life completely.  I am sorry for all I have done (and I began to name some of the major things that caused me great pain).  Please help me!  I know that I have messed my life up completely and I don't know how you are going to fix it, but I TRUST that YOU WILL."  At that moment, the most amazing warm, peaceful feeling felt like it started in my chest and moved throughout my body.  I felt as though I was sitting in a warm bath of love.  I felt truly loved for the first time in my life.  I felt peace in my heart that I had never known.  I thought to myself - "What do I do now?"

I didn't know how to be religious or go to church every Sunday.  I had never done that.  I didn't know how to pray, or read the Bible.  I didn't know the books of the Bible's names, or any of the main characters in it, except Jesus.  I just reached out to God that day and asked for His help and forgiveness.  I told Him I believed that Jesus had died for me (somehow) and that His death and resurrection was enough for me to live free from sin.  My words to God in that prayer were not eloquent or "religious" sounding and many church folk may have been appalled at how unholy I sounded.  I am not bashing on the church, I just want you all to know that church didn't save me from my sins, Jesus did.  People couldn't save me, and I sure couldn't save myself, but Jesus could. All I had to do was drink the Living Water that He offered me that day (at the well).  He said to the Samaritan woman that she would never thirst again if she drank the water He gave her.  I can honestly say that statement is true.  I continue to go back to the well (the Word) and drink deeply and I am satisfied with His peace, love and joy (forgiveness and salvation) all over again.

I AM a woman at the well, and He (Jesus) is my Living Water.

Come drink with me.

His beloved,

Sarah