Lately, I have been thinking about the future more than usual. I have been wondering where we will be in five or ten years. Today is my 6-year anniversary of being married to my husband. It has been a wild and crazy ride for the past six years. I feel like we have been married 50 years already...we have seen illness, tragedy, financial hardship, emotional instability, faced the impossible at times, and somehow we have always made it through...
I was talking with a man last night about how a marriage falls apart. His wife separated from him earlier this year because she said she needs to "find herself." When the brief conversation was over, I began thinking about that statement. Perhaps, that is what I am still trying to do, even inside of my marriage....to find myself. As I thought about it more and more, I realized that I found myself the day I met Jesus. Before that day, I had no idea who I was. I was trying to find myself in partying, drugs, alcohol and an endless stream of broken relationships. I was looking for something, pleasure, fun, enjoyment, purpose, and desperately trying to fulfill the need to be loved by someone. I remember how I felt after I first began to follow Jesus. I felt full, satisfied and because He immediately took away my desire for those other things...I began to find my identity in Him alone.
Some have said to me that I have lost my mind, gone off the deep end, or wonder why I never talk about anything but Jesus. They say I am not able to relate to people if I just talk about Jesus all the time. I couldn't disagree more. If I talk about all the things I used to, I would just be encouraging them to find themselves in things that can never satisfy. I have found something that has changed me forever. I have found MYSELF in Him. I used to say that I always felt there was a different (better) person inside of me than what I was showing the world. When I came to Jesus at the well and drank of His Living Water, He took away all those layers of myself that I never liked. The real me started to emerge from a cloud of darkness, and I felt as though I was finally truly the me that I wanted to be. Now, I am not hiding behind clothes, parties, material items, drugs or alcohol. I am not constantly trying to get the world to like me, because I finally like myself.
I think that one reason my marriage has lasted is that I am happy to be me. My husband and I have problems at times, we have struggled through deep valleys of darkness and despair. We have been told heartbreaking news that seemed as though it would overtake us. However, somehow, by the grace of God we always emerged from the smoke. Victorious. As long as we find our identity in Jesus and we allow Him to be the center of our world, He will always make us stronger in loving each other. Jeff and I have said many times that without God in our lives, we never would have made it this far. Marriage is HARD. If anyone tells you different, they are lying. Six years is a long time. We have both grown and changed our priorities. We have different dreams than we used to have. We like different things, and even what we had in common has changed over time. We have had to stretch and grow together. I have threatened to leave many more times than he has. I guess I am the one who is weak and wants to quit. When I feel as though I can't go on, I return to the well and ask for strength again to move on. Jesus is always there and gives me peace and strength. I would not be married today if Jesus had not always been there for me.
Today, Jeff and I were driving in the car and looking at a picture that our son took to school of Guam. Jeff asked me, "Are you sitting down? Do you want to go to Guam with me?" (He was re-enacting a very momentus phone call he made to me at work in 2005). We were not yet engaged or married. He was asking me if I was willing to go on the adventure of a lifetime with him. We got engaged shortly after I said YES. We decided to move 8,000 miles away from our homeland together. I was scared to leave the familiar but I wanted to be with him. I loved him and love is stronger than death. We ended up finding out shortly after that we were expecting a child together. Many have assumed that we got engaged for the wrong reasons, either because he was leaving or because I was pregnant. We got married because we loved each other. Yes, I found out he was leaving and decided to go with him before we got engaged. I found out I was pregnant two weeks AFTER we got engaged. But it all works out. God works all things together for good. Our pregnancy outside of marriage has turned out to be one of the greatest blessings that life could offer, our beautiful son Krischan! Does God want us to start families that way? No. Does He turn things around to make it all wonderful and good? Yes.
God is always planning and preparing our way in life. He has a good plan for our lives and although we can't see the finished product, we just have to keep returning to Him for strength and He will give us peace. I am married today, after six long years, by the grace of God. His unmerited favor in my life, and a constant desire from me and Jeff to believe that God still works miracles, each and every day.
I love you Jeff. Thank you for resembling Jesus in my life, and never giving up on me or abandoning me. Thank you for forgiving me of my many faults and sins toward you. I thank God that we made it this far, and I am looking to Him for many more years together. Without Him, we can do nothing, but with Him - ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
I look forward to walking into the future with you. Thank you for sharing your dreams for the future with me this morning. I was encouraged and excited to find out that we have the same dream God has planted in our hearts. Simply amazing.
Some LIVING WATER for today:
Thank you Jesus for making it all possible through your amazing grace and love in our lives. May your love flow more freely through us for many years to come.
Your beloved,
Sarah
I was talking with a man last night about how a marriage falls apart. His wife separated from him earlier this year because she said she needs to "find herself." When the brief conversation was over, I began thinking about that statement. Perhaps, that is what I am still trying to do, even inside of my marriage....to find myself. As I thought about it more and more, I realized that I found myself the day I met Jesus. Before that day, I had no idea who I was. I was trying to find myself in partying, drugs, alcohol and an endless stream of broken relationships. I was looking for something, pleasure, fun, enjoyment, purpose, and desperately trying to fulfill the need to be loved by someone. I remember how I felt after I first began to follow Jesus. I felt full, satisfied and because He immediately took away my desire for those other things...I began to find my identity in Him alone.
Some have said to me that I have lost my mind, gone off the deep end, or wonder why I never talk about anything but Jesus. They say I am not able to relate to people if I just talk about Jesus all the time. I couldn't disagree more. If I talk about all the things I used to, I would just be encouraging them to find themselves in things that can never satisfy. I have found something that has changed me forever. I have found MYSELF in Him. I used to say that I always felt there was a different (better) person inside of me than what I was showing the world. When I came to Jesus at the well and drank of His Living Water, He took away all those layers of myself that I never liked. The real me started to emerge from a cloud of darkness, and I felt as though I was finally truly the me that I wanted to be. Now, I am not hiding behind clothes, parties, material items, drugs or alcohol. I am not constantly trying to get the world to like me, because I finally like myself.
I think that one reason my marriage has lasted is that I am happy to be me. My husband and I have problems at times, we have struggled through deep valleys of darkness and despair. We have been told heartbreaking news that seemed as though it would overtake us. However, somehow, by the grace of God we always emerged from the smoke. Victorious. As long as we find our identity in Jesus and we allow Him to be the center of our world, He will always make us stronger in loving each other. Jeff and I have said many times that without God in our lives, we never would have made it this far. Marriage is HARD. If anyone tells you different, they are lying. Six years is a long time. We have both grown and changed our priorities. We have different dreams than we used to have. We like different things, and even what we had in common has changed over time. We have had to stretch and grow together. I have threatened to leave many more times than he has. I guess I am the one who is weak and wants to quit. When I feel as though I can't go on, I return to the well and ask for strength again to move on. Jesus is always there and gives me peace and strength. I would not be married today if Jesus had not always been there for me.
Today, Jeff and I were driving in the car and looking at a picture that our son took to school of Guam. Jeff asked me, "Are you sitting down? Do you want to go to Guam with me?" (He was re-enacting a very momentus phone call he made to me at work in 2005). We were not yet engaged or married. He was asking me if I was willing to go on the adventure of a lifetime with him. We got engaged shortly after I said YES. We decided to move 8,000 miles away from our homeland together. I was scared to leave the familiar but I wanted to be with him. I loved him and love is stronger than death. We ended up finding out shortly after that we were expecting a child together. Many have assumed that we got engaged for the wrong reasons, either because he was leaving or because I was pregnant. We got married because we loved each other. Yes, I found out he was leaving and decided to go with him before we got engaged. I found out I was pregnant two weeks AFTER we got engaged. But it all works out. God works all things together for good. Our pregnancy outside of marriage has turned out to be one of the greatest blessings that life could offer, our beautiful son Krischan! Does God want us to start families that way? No. Does He turn things around to make it all wonderful and good? Yes.
God is always planning and preparing our way in life. He has a good plan for our lives and although we can't see the finished product, we just have to keep returning to Him for strength and He will give us peace. I am married today, after six long years, by the grace of God. His unmerited favor in my life, and a constant desire from me and Jeff to believe that God still works miracles, each and every day.
I love you Jeff. Thank you for resembling Jesus in my life, and never giving up on me or abandoning me. Thank you for forgiving me of my many faults and sins toward you. I thank God that we made it this far, and I am looking to Him for many more years together. Without Him, we can do nothing, but with Him - ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
I look forward to walking into the future with you. Thank you for sharing your dreams for the future with me this morning. I was encouraged and excited to find out that we have the same dream God has planted in our hearts. Simply amazing.
Some LIVING WATER for today:
Jeremiah 29:11
New King James Version (NKJV)
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Deuteronomy 31:8
New King James Version (NKJV)
8 And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”
1 Corinthians 13:1-7
1 Corinthians 13:1-7
New King James Version (NKJV)
The Greatest Gift
13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of
prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I
have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I
am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.Your beloved,
Sarah
thank you, my dear, amazing Sarah. very timely message, as i am missing the wedding of my only baby brother today :(
ReplyDeleteIt's all Jesus, beginning to end.
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